So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize