Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
