pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
