is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
