need another drink. this is the easiest way
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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