Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
