I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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