Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
