Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We need to get me chipped asap
its liver damage thursday
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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