I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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