the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
