Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
