remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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