So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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