Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
