they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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