Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
