u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize