I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
