i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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