Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
