just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
