need another drink. this is the easiest way
I puked a lego.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Let's get the cat blown out
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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