He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
