Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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