going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
