if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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