I wanna bring you to show and tell
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize