LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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