You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
