That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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