guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize