I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
