Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad

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(248): View more from Michigan

My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.

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(310): View more from California

My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius

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(415): View more from California

I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one

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(303): View more from Colorado

When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever

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(303): View more from Colorado

Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered

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(928): View more from Arizona

I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.

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(469): View more from Texas

He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor

(972): View more from Texas

Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone

(469): View more from Texas

Noooo he’s listed as free food #5

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