I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
