Well douche your snatch and let's go!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
