just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
