Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
