I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
