I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
