We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
