she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
