well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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