The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
