absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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