I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
