There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
