so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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