I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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