dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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