TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
