Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
