If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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