the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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