I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
