do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
