...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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