I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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