We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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