is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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